Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Watching TV & a new feature: OBSESSED.


I am OFF WORK!  I am laying on the couch, watching The History Channel- which isn't showing anything about history, but shows about Bigfoot, UFOs...and lots of people who make bad personal grooming choices.

It's almost 11am, and I realized I forgot to tell Holly that I'm off work- so I just called her to see if she wanted to go to Basket Market.  You know, to celebrate the 4th of July.  A trip to Basket Market is the perfect way to honor our INDEPENDENCE and FREEDOM this holiday season.  I don't know why the larger part of the population assumes the holiday calls for beer and 'the' lake, clearly, it's all about beer and Basket Market.

Speaking of beer for breakfast-  Anytime I have a beer before 11am, I remember, years ago, when I was living in Australia.  My ex-fiancee's brother had come from Canada to visit, and was staying at our apartment.  Every morning, he would call me into the kitchen:  "Kory, my friend, come have a beer...it is the perfect breakfast, you know- beer...it has...vitamins...and oats."

EVERY MORNING.

Okay- back to the goings-on on the History Channel-  I wish, REALLY REALLY WISH, that Bigfoot would be found.  Just so these insane people would stop being filmed LOOKING FOR HIM.

Now, a commercial for APPLEBEE'S.  Does anyone actually eat there?  I don't know of one single person who goes there-  yeah, I know a few people who've GONE, but none that ever RETURNED.  I went once and I'm still suffering PTSD.  It was that bad.  If I wanted to eat perfectly disgusting and/or flavorless, strange combinations of food, I would just go in the kitchen and cook!

Enough live-blogging television.  Here's what I'm here to share, this morning:

WHAT I AM OBSESSED WITH, SO FAR, THIS WEEK!

1)  Paul's Pepper-pot Boy card, from over at THE ARTSIDERS.

I'm obsessed with this drawing that he did- and begged for him to make a stamp from it- but since, like me, he surely doesn't have a rubber-stamp creating machine next to his desk, I thought he could make a digital stamp.  And you know what?  He was kind enough to RE-DRAW the little guy, SCAN it, and EMAIL it to me.  And on top of that, he still took the time to explain, to me, what a pepper-pot is and went on to explain what a SALT PIG is-  I'm still mystified.

2)  CrimsonMama's Punch Doily, as seen here in her Scrapbook.com GALLERY.

She MADE a doily with a Martha Stewart punch.  I have zero math skills, so as I read her description as to how she CALCULATED everything to MAKE THIS THING, my brain almost melted.  I don't see how she not only came up with the idea, but also how she executed the plan.  SHE  USED A PROTRACTOR.

3)  Shelly Hickox's 'Grungy Gatefold Birthday Card.' from her blog STAMPTAMP, which I found from the SIZZIX blog.

Click on the title of her blog, up there, and look at this freakin' card.  I'm obsessed.  Everything from the color, the stamps, the die-cuts-  WOW- this is the first time I really, really liked the Umbrella Man.  I mean, yes, I love the stamp (I don't have the die, yet) but I could never picture, really, what to use him on- something about it makes me feel sad.  Or creeped out.  I love the image, but I couldn't picture him on anything.  But seeing it here, it looks great.  As well as the rest of her blog.  I'm obsessed.


Okay, I've got to get going.  Nothing makes Holly angrier than a frantic phone call from me, shouting to HURRY HURRY HURRY LET'S GO- only to pull up and honk and I'm still undressed, watching a show about UFO's while simultaneously reading blog and talking on the phone.

I'd like to say that I'm going to find a shopping cart full of treasure at Basket Market and return to create my first Pinterest worthy masterpiece which I photograph well and post to my blog, resulting in magazines wanting to hire me as their craft editor.  But I'll be realistic.  I'll find nothing worth buying, end up being dragged thrift store to junk store and back again by Holly, eventually returning home where I'll lay on the couch and watch Ancient Aliens or something even worse.  Maybe I should sell tickets allowing people to sit beside me on the couch as I talk back to the TV?  It's almost a performance worthy of an award, really.

In case I don't make it back-  HAPPY 4th of JULY, Americans.

-kory

9 comments:

  1. I really Laughed Out Loud about your brain melting.. and then when I went and read it..... I completely understood.. I think my eyes crossed! It was not in english! LOL

    Loved all three of your obsessions for the week! You are right about that Grungy Gatefold Card.. wow!! Who would have thought the umbrella man would look good somewhere! LOL Another laughing out loud at him making you feel creeped out.. I can see it! Stalker, creepy guy with an umbrella and black trench coat.. or a flasher!! AHHA! Have fun shopping.. hope you find something great. And Happy 4th!

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  2. Awww I'm made over with the mention. Thanks Kory! I'm always happy to dispense my nuggets of s*@t haha (& if that expression hasn't hit your shores yet, think lower class Pearls of Wisdom lol) Enjoy your 4th July celebrations. You certainly deserve a short break. And for heaven's sake Oklahoma people...someone snap this guy up and make him your husband!!!!! Kory, you should come to the UK, you'd be fighting them off :) Have fun my friend. I'll be off on my hols at the end of the week, so will be looking forward to catching up with all your news when I return. Mwah xx

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  3. Kory, my friend, you are a hoot. And I love it! :) Today, you are cracking ME up! :) Have a great holiday!

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  4. Ok Kory my friend, I am no math genius. But I can use a calculator like nobody's bidness! You made my day!

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  5. I'm so glad you liked my card - it's the first time I've ever used the Umbrella Man die. Like you, I could never quite figure out what to do with him. Oh, and like you, don't get the Applebee's thing, but the parking lot is always jam-packed here, so I guess we're in the minority.

    Your writing is fantastic - I need to stop by more often! :)

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  6. Hey Kory K! Glad to see you blogging today! :) Happy you got a well deserved day off! Hope you find awesome stuff at the Basket Market place. I watch that Bigfoot show sometimes, too..I keep hoping they catch one! lol Talk to you soon!

    HL

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  7. I've never claimed to have any math skills, but her explanation of how she figured out the measurements on the doily really did melt my brain! On first read through, I thought she was speaking in tongues and then found my mind wandering to why someone on a scrapbooking site would be doing so, lol!!
    And as always, Kory, you just cracked me up! My poor dog was curled up on the couch with me until I became so hysterical with laughter, then he decided to find someplace safer and more quiet for his pre-bedtime nap!

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  8. I heard Big Foot was seen at Basket Market yesterday... he didn't find anything but empty aisles and newbies. :)

    Glad I'm not the only with brain melt on CrimsonMama's protractor doily! I'll just buy them - SO much easier!

    Have a great 4th!

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  9. Kory,
    There is no trick to the paper punch doily- I learned how to do this from preparing to teach a PATP class at Michael's You don't need all that measuring or anything- just cut out a circle(not too small) and make sure your punch is always pointing towards the center of the circle. IT won't work perfectly everytime and you do need to practice-but it's not as hard as it looks.

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