Dear Santa...

While running thirty-six minutes late for work this morning, I started thinking about Christmas.  As we do at this time of the year. 

When I was a classy little kid, I made the best Christmas lists.  I had some software (remember when we called it SOFTWARE) called The Newsroom Pro for my DOS (remember DOS?!) computer.  For a good laugh- check out these screenshots I found when I searched for proof of my Newsroom Pro memories.  I mostly used The Newsroom to create crazily offensive and libelous newspapers to pass out at school, because I loved trips to the Principal's office.  However, when December rolled around, I stopped writing up accounts of what teacher was caught with what teacher in what room by what janitor and began making up my CHRISTMAS LIST.  In the style of a newspaper. 

To make a long story short, I thought it would be fun to make a Christmas list.

Some of the things I put on the list don't exist, I just wish someone would make them FOR me.  Yes, I'll be playing 'Creative Director,' for a bit.  Some of the things might exist and I don't know it- so if you say, "But Kory!  You CAN get that!"  And if you tell me where, I'd be so excited.  And some of it, it's just product I've seen online and obsess over, wishing I could make myself place an order.

1)  A "Whatever Happened To Baby Jane" rubber stamp and craft set.  Complete with a Jane stamp, a Blanche in her wheelchair stamp, a rat on a plate stamp and a two text stamps:  one that reads, "But y'are in that chair, Blanche!" and one that reads, "You mean all these years we could've been friends?!"  And a roll of washi tape printed with the sheet music for "I've Written A Letter To Daddy."

2)  A year of Studio Calico monthly kits.

3)  A "BAD SEED" rubber stamp kit.  One stamp: a close of little Rhoda making crazy eyes.  A stamp of Rhoda making one of her 'perfect curtsies.'  And a text stamp that says, "YOU GIVE ME BACK MY SHOES!"

4)  A Silhouette Cameo.  And someone to teach me how to use it.  I'm not kidding.  It took me forever to figure out my Cricut Expression 2.

5)  A Box Of Wine A Week Club.  I prefer Franzia's Crisp White.  I'm not proud or fancy.


So that's that.  My Christmas list.  It's PayDay Friday, too- so I'm a little more cheerful than usual.  Because it makes me so happy to pay bills.

Oh! Oh!  To make a "PayDay Friday" even BETTER- guess what the mailroom just delivered to me?!  A PRESENT!  I recently won a prize from Shelly Hickox, at her blog, Stamptramp.  Isn't that one of the greatest blog names ever?  I know.  She even WRAPPED the prizes and included one of her beautiful and genius tags.

I can't say thank you well enough or enough.  This is the only wrapped present (and possibly the only present) that I'll get for Christmas- so I'm doubly touched and ... just very thankful.  Thank you so so much, Shelly!!!  The tag is beautiful (beyond belief- you should see what it does when it opens) and I am gonna make something with the dies when I gets home!

-kory

What's UP in KORYLAND?!

It's been a busy week! 

A busy CRAFTY week, too!  Which is always good.  Isn't it?

I think it's a combination of the darker weather, the cooler weather and the approaching HOLIDAY season that's hitting my bloodstream in the way a ten dollar crack rock ignites the GO GET 'EM attitude in a streetwalker.  You know what I mean.  YOU know.

I spent a crazed lunch hour at OKC's hidden treasure- BASKET MARKET.  Awww.  You don't live in OKC and can't experience the pile of cheap scrappy goodness that can be found at this unofficial Hobby Lobby outlet?  Well!  You should move to OKC so's you can experience the fun of fighting over a brand new sheet of Studio Calico with your right hand while your left hand tries to grab and drop a package of SPELLBINDERS down to your foot so you can deftly kick it across the aisle into your (already full) basket.

Wanna see today's haul?  Ya do?!  You nasty perverts.  Always up for some ScrapPorn, aren't ya?!Here it is:

I don't know if you're going to believe me or not- but ALL of that scraptacular goodness was purchased for 39.16.  That's right.  Not even forty bucks.  As we say on the corner of 1st and Main, "What you driving away so fast for, Mister?!  That's a BARGAIN!"

Besides shopping- what else have I been up to?  Well, believe it or NOT, I got the Cricut out!  My poor, neglected Cricut Expression 2.  Purchased in a fit last Black Friday, amongst cries of, "I MUST HAVE IT NOWWWW, I SWEAR I WILL USE IT ALL THE TIME," then left to sit on my shelf.  Sitting on my shelf, staring at me like a kid with a runny nose. 

There it is- all lit up and cutting like a pro.  See that lattice-y looking thing to the right?  I love that- can't wait to find a reason to use it...  Also had great fun cutting out lots of stuff from the 'Happy Hauntings' cartridge.  Has anyone cut out the entire 3-D Haunted Mansion, from that cartridge, and lived to tell the tale?  Call me.  I'd love to hear about it. 

I've also been throwing together some layouts like it's no tomorrow.  Because, as far as we know, there won't be a tomorrow.  Mayans, you know.

That's the 'background' of one of my STATE FAIR layouts, using the very inspirational "MIDWAY" collection from those geniuses over at OCTOBER AFTERNOON.  Can they get any cooler?  I love how they manage to be cool, vintage, modern AND colorful all at the same time? 

As you can see, I cut a few pieces of papers from the MIDWAY collection into strips and kinda threw them down and attached them (thank you, Glossy Accents!) to the base paper.  The 'detail,' on this layout of mine, that I'm obsessing over is this:

No, I didn't get my sewing machine off it's lonely shelf when I was breaking Lil' Cricut out of jail- those ain't real stitches!  I know, it fooled you.  They're just RUB-ONS!  Yeah, I'm sure all y'all have seen rub-on stitches before- but for those of you who haven't and especially for those of you that didn't know such a wonder existed:  YES.  You don't have to sell your blondest child so you can get a sewing machine so's you can make them classy layouts with nifty zig-zagging stitching.  You don't even hafta fall for an infomercial's claims that their little piece of plastic and crap can sew a hem on a skirt while you're wearing it so therefore it should stitch a photo to a piece of cardstock.  No.  All you gotta do is go to Jo-Ann and pick up packs of RUB-ON STITCHES from their DOLLAR SECTION.  Yeahp.  Gets even better, don't it?  Not only can you quickly and painlessly add stitching to a layout, but it will only cost you ONE DOLLAR.  Amazing days we live in, huh?

Alright, people.  I got paperwork to do, calls to make and coffee to drink... so's I can get back home and rub stitches on cardstock. 

See you soon.

-k

Talking About Shopping

Doesn't it suck, wandering around a store where you know the inventory like the back of your hand? I hate knowing both every item in a store AND how long it's been there...  

But I LOVE to be surprised when new product shows up!  It's such a good feeling- kinda like a sneeze.  Surprising and feels great.  Did you know that I love to sneeze?  It feels so good.

Yesterday, I had ninety minutes to kill before I had to be at the theatre, downtown, for a production meeting.  And you know what goes through my head when I have more than 25 minutes but less than three hours to kill:  CRAFT SUPPLY SHOPPING!

I headed to 'Good Michaels' on the South side of Oklahoma City.  Why didn't I go to the one closest to me and why do I call the South Michaels location 'the good Michaels?'  Cuz its shelves are usually stocked (more and better) and they put out new product FASTER.  The location nearest me, on North May Avenue, the one I usually call 'Lunch Michaels,' goes through long periods of blank space on shelves and hooks.  Also, they either don't get new product as fast as 'Good Michaels,' or they just take their sweet time putting it out on a hook.  And that makes me crazy.  If one of my friends tells me about the kick-A new thing they just bought at Michaels- and I go- and it isn't out-  I can have a near meltdown.  Yes, that obviously tells you about the problems I clearly have with my mental state.

So, I headed down to 'Good Michaels.'  Used the time on the interstate to honk at people who don't know how to merge from the on-ramp and called my dear sweet MOM!  My nephew answered the phone.  I didn't recognize his voice- he's only just turned 13, but puberty must've hit him like a cartoon sledgehammer.  I immediately thought, "Okay, Mom either got a new cell phone number and forgot to tell me (again) or she's left my Stepfather and has run off with this new man."  No, it's just my nephew. He tells me that my Mom is upstairs.

"So..."

"Yeah, she's upstairs."

SO?!  SHE'S UPSTAIRS!  SHE'S NOT POSING FOR A PICTURE AT THE GREAT WALL OF CHINA!  RUN UP THE STAIRS AND HAND THE PHONE TO HER!

Kids.  They get lazier every day.

What the hell am I talking about?!   Oh yeah.  The hap-haps at Michaels.

First up:  The famous Michaels photo boxes.  On sale for 2.39 each.  Bargain!  I am addicted to these- I have the plain kraft ones for most of my supply storage.  I try to keep things I don't use as often in them- as it's just so much trouble for me to pull a lid off of a box.  But they look great, stacked on a shelf!  Especially if you type labels up on your computer, print them out, cut them to the right size and slide them into the label-holder-thingy.

As I said, I have about eight of the plain kraft ones- as I love kraft and the patterned or colored ones irritated me.  But these caught my eye:

Aren't those classy?  Yeah, I know.  While I am usually against 'travel decor' that depicts places I haven't actually BEEN- I love how Elizabeth Tower looks (read Wikipedia! it be getting/got a name change!).  I love the simple graphic beauty of these boxes!  You know I'd rather walk on my lips than say somethin' mean- but my first thought was, "I'm surprised they didn't screw up the cool simpleness of the design with some neon bubble writing declaring "BIG BEN BIG BEN BIG BEN" all over the sides and background."  Because that so often happens- usually with the dollar stamps.  There will be a stamp with a nice sentiment but "ruined" with a little bee dotting an 'i.'  I always imagine this happens because a designer drew up a nice little stamp and then a dippy executive enters and says, "Hmmm. Too plain.  Add a bee kissing a heart."

But why do I dislike travel themed decor depicting places I've never been?  I think it's because of that huge Eiffel tower trend-  it's mostly died out, from what I can tell, but I still see it gasping for breath amongst Hobby Lobby's decor aisles and discount stores.  It just screamed 'annoying person who can't decorate, buying an Eiffel Tower lamp at Target, then forcing all their friends to come over and see it, while exclaiming nonstop about how they've ALWAYS. LOVED. PARIS. -which, they probably even pronounce as PAIR-EEE."

Anyways- I love these boxes and think they'd even look great standing up on their sides, on a shelf-  just as I posed the boxes for the picture.

I wonder what employees think when they see me rearranging things for photos?  I know they appreciate it when I re-order their shelves and/or move things back to their correct hooks- they've told me thank you a few times.

Next UP!

From about 100 feet, I spot new product.  I don't know if 'spot' is correct, as it's more a sensation-  yes, I SENSE NEW PRODUCT.

It's FISKARS FUSE!

I can't remember if I ever told y'all about my sadness over the premiere of the Fiskars FUSE.  I love how the thing looks.  I love the options/ways it can be used.  But the design of their first round of embossing plates and dies just breaks my heart.  Seriously.  It was a sadness much like when the musical SIDE SHOW closed on Broadway.  It's that sad, ladies and gentlemen.  Here is to hoping the next round of designs is much better.  Call me, Fiskars.

So, what was it that made my day?

I finally got Mr. Holtz's TATTERED LEAVES die.  Sometime shortly after 2AM on Sunday morning, I got a 'wild hair up my ass,' as we say in Oklahoma, and wanted the Tattered Leaves die.  I had an idea.  I cursed myself for not buying it ten hours earlier when I glanced at it- then I cursed Michaels for not being open 24 hours, seven days a week.  I forgave them, as they're open on Sundays.  Then, I cursed Hobby Lobby for not being open on Sundays.

Just as I was happy enough to be buying my new die and just as I was finished 'testing' pens out on the roll of paper they have hanging there to do so- I dropped a pen.  When I reached down to get it- a little plastic box of brass heaven caught my eye.

Clearly, I'm not on my knees amongst the brads on a regular basis.  I had never seen these!!!

A little plastic box full of these beautiful brads.  Globes and airplanes.  My day was made, and I swear- I smiled all the way to the cashier- who turned out to be a nice lady I worked with, once long ago!  She let me use the 25% off complete purchase coupon that wasn't supposed to be valid until 4pm AND hugged me.  Now that's service!  I kept on smiling all the way to my meeting.  And that's a story leading to the layout that I'm gonna get to work on- right as soon as I hit 'publish' and pull myself back downstairs.

-kory

Watching TV & a new feature: OBSESSED.

I am OFF WORK!  I am laying on the couch, watching The History Channel- which isn't showing anything about history, but shows about Bigfoot, UFOs...and lots of people who make bad personal grooming choices.

It's almost 11am, and I realized I forgot to tell Holly that I'm off work- so I just called her to see if she wanted to go to Basket Market.  You know, to celebrate the 4th of July.  A trip to Basket Market is the perfect way to honor our INDEPENDENCE and FREEDOM this holiday season.  I don't know why the larger part of the population assumes the holiday calls for beer and 'the' lake, clearly, it's all about beer and Basket Market.

Speaking of beer for breakfast-  Anytime I have a beer before 11am, I remember, years ago, when I was living in Australia.  My ex-fiancee's brother had come from Canada to visit, and was staying at our apartment.  Every morning, he would call me into the kitchen:  "Kory, my friend, come have a beer...it is the perfect breakfast, you know- beer...it has...vitamins...and oats."

EVERY MORNING.

Okay- back to the goings-on on the History Channel-  I wish, REALLY REALLY WISH, that Bigfoot would be found.  Just so these insane people would stop being filmed LOOKING FOR HIM.

Now, a commercial for APPLEBEE'S.  Does anyone actually eat there?  I don't know of one single person who goes there-  yeah, I know a few people who've GONE, but none that ever RETURNED.  I went once and I'm still suffering PTSD.  It was that bad.  If I wanted to eat perfectly disgusting and/or flavorless, strange combinations of food, I would just go in the kitchen and cook!

Enough live-blogging television.  Here's what I'm here to share, this morning:

WHAT I AM OBSESSED WITH, SO FAR, THIS WEEK!

1)  Paul's Pepper-pot Boy card, from over at THE ARTSIDERS.

I'm obsessed with this drawing that he did- and begged for him to make a stamp from it- but since, like me, he surely doesn't have a rubber-stamp creating machine next to his desk, I thought he could make a digital stamp.  And you know what?  He was kind enough to RE-DRAW the little guy, SCAN it, and EMAIL it to me.  And on top of that, he still took the time to explain, to me, what a pepper-pot is and went on to explain what a SALT PIG is-  I'm still mystified.

2)  CrimsonMama's Punch Doily, as seen here in her Scrapbook.com GALLERY.

She MADE a doily with a Martha Stewart punch.  I have zero math skills, so as I read her description as to how she CALCULATED everything to MAKE THIS THING, my brain almost melted.  I don't see how she not only came up with the idea, but also how she executed the plan.  SHE  USED A PROTRACTOR.

3)  Shelly Hickox's 'Grungy Gatefold Birthday Card.' from her blog STAMPTAMP, which I found from the SIZZIX blog.

Click on the title of her blog, up there, and look at this freakin' card.  I'm obsessed.  Everything from the color, the stamps, the die-cuts-  WOW- this is the first time I really, really liked the Umbrella Man.  I mean, yes, I love the stamp (I don't have the die, yet) but I could never picture, really, what to use him on- something about it makes me feel sad.  Or creeped out.  I love the image, but I couldn't picture him on anything.  But seeing it here, it looks great.  As well as the rest of her blog.  I'm obsessed.


Okay, I've got to get going.  Nothing makes Holly angrier than a frantic phone call from me, shouting to HURRY HURRY HURRY LET'S GO- only to pull up and honk and I'm still undressed, watching a show about UFO's while simultaneously reading blog and talking on the phone.

I'd like to say that I'm going to find a shopping cart full of treasure at Basket Market and return to create my first Pinterest worthy masterpiece which I photograph well and post to my blog, resulting in magazines wanting to hire me as their craft editor.  But I'll be realistic.  I'll find nothing worth buying, end up being dragged thrift store to junk store and back again by Holly, eventually returning home where I'll lay on the couch and watch Ancient Aliens or something even worse.  Maybe I should sell tickets allowing people to sit beside me on the couch as I talk back to the TV?  It's almost a performance worthy of an award, really.

In case I don't make it back-  HAPPY 4th of JULY, Americans.

-kory

Kory Watches CRAFT WARS On TLC (and shares his reactions)

CRAFT WARS: Reactions:

On Christy Thomlinson's introduction:  Did they tell her or force her to do that pose during her introduction?  I hope it wasn't her choice.  The gangstah pose during your competition reality show introduction went out of style during the first season of Project Runway.  And how long ago was that?  Please stop.  Please don't do it again.

Judge: Stephen Brown-  can he not stop 'reacting' so forcefully?  For sure, though- quit it with the 'OMG I AM  ENTHUSIASTICALLY INTERESTED, GURL' faces.  It's so awkward that I cringe.

When the people entered to deliver all the sports equipment, what was up with the guy who jumped and threw the basketball into the Rubbermaid container, then ran out, giving a high-five to Miss Spelling?  Did they make him do that?  Was there an annoying TV director telling them to 'MAKE IT ENERGETIC! LIKE YOU'RE SO EXCITED TO CARRY THOSE CRATES OF SPORTS EQUIPMENT OUT THERE! AND HIGH FIVE MISS SPELLING! IT'LL MAKE IT LOOK LIKE WE'RE ALL FRIENDS AND HAVING A GREAT TIME!'   Well it didn't, it just looked stupid.

WHO wrote these transitions and crap?!

I did like the football corners on the unfinished bag- that looked good!

Really, it matters

WHY did Miss Spelling's kids have to come out?!  That was more forced than that Stephen Brown's reaction shots.

This show just made me sad.  Really, these were the best challenges they could come up with for the FIRST show?!  TLC, CALL ME!

Wow.  This "School Bus" is looking more like a shanty house.  I hope it looks better when it's done!
Well, it doesn't.

The 'Backpack Monsters' did make me laugh- and the 'School House' does look better.

So who's gonna win?

Really, I don't have kids.  I don't like kids.  They might've well have called this 'KIDS CRAFT Craft Wars.'

The next episode had better be better!  Or.... I won't watch.  There.  Take that, TLC.  I'll spend more time over at NatGeo with LOCKED UP ABROAD.   So...  watch it.


CHECK OUT the website for CRAFT WARS for a FITTY OFF (that's a whole 50% OFF!) coupon to MICHAELS!  Valid until Saturday, June 30!!!  Remember, one coupon per person per day!  So print a bunch, find a bunch of friends and GO!

SHOPPING HIGHLIGHTS and living in a burning hell

Wow.  Time flies.  One minute it's beautifully cold and you're wearing a classy sweater to work - the next thing you know, it's a hundred degrees and you're miserably wondering what you did to end up in hell.  Was it the liquor?  The sleeping around?  The haircut you had in the 6th grade?  Why have I been forsaken?!  Oh, I'm still alive.  This isn't hell.  It's Oklahoma City.  Or is it?

So what's up?  Besides burning in hell?  Well, I've done a bit of shopping and I'm here to share a few SHOPPING HIGHLIGHTS with you!

Here's some highlights of recent shopping trips:



Found these nifty stamps (from The Paper Company) at Jo-Ann.  All stamps were on sale, 40% off.  As these were rather inexpensive anyways- really- such a low price I wouldn't have cared paying full price- the discount made them an even better deal!  I think they rang up at 4.19 each package.  And aren't they cool?!  I love the vintage label look of these stamps!  I could do without the 'Friends Forever' stamp, as I stopped acting like a 13 year old girl when I turned 30, but who knows- it might come in handy one day. 

Went to MICHAELS yesterday, for a lunch-hour shopping break.  Holly B. not only drove me, but shared a diet pill.  So we shopped in terrific manic style AND didn't eat.  As I was maniacally tearing through the dollar stamp bins, Holly turned a corner and spotted the above display, hidden behind a tall shelf of horrific budget patterned scrapbooking paper.  Seriously- hidden.  If it were a snake it would NOT have bit me.  Luckily, Holly has the eyes of an eagle on methamphetamines.  Budget stamps from 7Gypsies / Graphic45 / Cosmo Cricket / Hampton Art!!!  Most of the display was empty, however- which lead me to imagine that they either hadn't fully stocked this display yet OR other people had already discovered it and bought all of the best stamps.  As this was at the Michaels that's notorious for not stocking things that the other locations stocked a month ago, I'm leaning towards a stocking issue.

Speaking of this Michaels location's stocking issues- they have finally restocked (most of) the Tim Holtz/Sizzix dies (and embossing folders)!  They've been missing for nearly a year.  Well, except for a single, lonely Tim Holtz 'Baroque' die which seemed to migrate randomly around the store of its own volition.  Yes.  After all of Mr. Holtz's fan-freakin-tabulous dies but this 'Baroque' die had sold, I would spot it in different places all over the store.  One day it was in the SMASH Book display, then it was suddenly hanging from a Distress Ink hook.  Another time, I saw it on top of a pile of fabric bolts in the clearance aisle.  Yesterday, there it was again- in the mixed media jewelry display.  While I considered giving the Baroque die a home of its very own, I saw (and gratefully snatched) the On The Edge 'File Tabs' die.  I'd been wanting this one for FOREVER!  Sorry, Baroque.  I'll get you one day.  I promise.  I'll make an honest die of you.

Now, for something not related to craft, but still something that caught my eye:

A 'bunny rabbit mask.'  Spotted at the new and terrific antique shop near downtown, VERDIGRIS.  This thing is horrifying.  And I want it. 

And now, for something even more horrifying than an antique bunny mask:

This ad, spotted in the back of the newest issue of one of the scrap-mags, which excitedly advertises a new line of LIVE, LAUGH, LOVE albums.  Really?  I was pretty sure the LIVE LAUGH LOVE thing was, if not dead already, definitely near death.  Is it being resurrected?  I was pretty sure this fad was completely extinct when I spotted LIVE LAUGH LOVE signs in heaping piles in the home decor sections at Gordman's and Ross Dress For Less and other classy shopping destinations.  But no.  Just when I think I won't be assaulted by this CRAP any longer-  surprise! 

Trust me, people.  It's not inspiring.  It's insipid.  And worse than that, it's overdone. 

Okay

Oh, hi! Happy Mother's Day!

Well?  It's 7:10amCST.  Was I the first to wish you a Happy Mother's Day?!  No?  What do you mean your kid woke you up with a plate of undigestable 'Cowboy Surprise,' at 5:30am?  Don't you strap them to the beds at night?  How'd they get out?!


Yeah, I know- nothing as old as a MOMMIE DEAREST joke, but really?  What a hilarious movie that was-  I mean, depending on who's side you're on...   Myself, I'm with Joan.  I don't believe for a minute she did anything so much as ground those little steak-haters.  Every TIME I see Christina refuse to eat that deliciously bloody steak, I just scream at the TV:  DON'T TAKE IT FOR GRANTED!  I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT STEAK WAS UNTIL I WAS FOURTEEN!

Anyways.  Sorry about that...  I'm back.  I'm centered.  I'm focused.

So, I went on a little round about the town shopping spree yesterday.  I left the home with all intentions of going straight to MY HEART'S FANCY - but instead, I got on the phone with Holly Busch, missed an exit, said FORGET IT and went to Da HobLobs (Hobby Lobby) and the 'brand new' Jo-Ann!   Also, I got such a late start that I was worried about being able to make it up to Edmond (where My Heart's Fancy is) and back to downtown in time for rehearsal at 1pm.

What was I on the lookout for?  Some Spellbinders.  I saw a card online that I really liked, and knew from that moment-  I GOTTA GET LABELS2.

Well, neither Jo-Ann or Hobby Lobby had it-  and they didn't have anything else that caught my eye, but after combing the store to keep an eye on inventory, I realized I HAVE GOT TO GET DOWNTOWN!

Yes,  I am still stage managing.  The play previews on 31MAY and opens the next day.  Wanna come to the preview?  I'll let you know details.  Rehearsal was pretty tough.  And made tougher due to the fact that I had a pack of Spellbinders on my back...

Oh yeah!  Did I tell you that I finally got a new cell phone?  I did.  I got the iPhone 4S.  I'd been wanting an iPhone for the longest time.  And for one reason only.  Well, two reasons.  The second reason, I'll go into later- as I've got the idea it's going to be a big enlightening post full of excitement.  The first reason I've been wanting the iPhone so badly  is because:

Instagram.

Isn't it amazing?!  And don't these layouts and other projects made using the Instagram photos just blow you away?

And yeah- I've even been using it!

Today, after rehearsal, I walked around the front of OKC's beautifully famous CIVIC CENTER MUSIC HALL, and took a picture of the front:

When I was a little stagestuck kid, going to see a show at the CCMH was a majorly big deal.  In the second grade, my Grandma took my brother and me there, to see a national tour of PETER PAN.  At the end of the show, after the curtain call, Peter stepped down front and promised to teach ALL of us how to fly.  My heart could've exploded.  I've always wanted to fly!

Well.  Along with every other hopeful kid in the audience, I followed the instructions carefully.  I bent my arm and put my right thumb into my right armpit- then the same with the left-  then-  FLAP.  And Peter made a chicken noise.  Bawk Bawk Bawk.

Yeah, really funny, weird lady dressed as a boy.  No my heart is broken and all I've got to show for it is a lifetime love of going to the theatre.

Well, that's it- the big reason I bought the phone.  To take pictures using one little free app.

Where the hell was I, ladies and gentlemen?

Oh yeah.  After rehearsal and some rest and some dinner- I headed back out, in search of a new set of Spellbinders, preferably Labels 2.  Or Labels 22.  Or all of them.  It didn't matter, the itch was so bad.

At Michaels, I found a set that interested me.  Labels 18.

And some classy envelopes.

Beautiful, huh?  You might think they're from some classy 'name' company.  Nope.  MAMBI.  Not talking' no trash to MAMBI- but I just don't see much from them-  or know much about them- or find anything I like by them...  Until these beautiful ladies!

I also picked up a 'Seal of Approval' FISKARS punch.  Why?  I don't know.  What can I say, it caught my eye.

And with my purchase (and a brief struggle of explaining WHERE the Spellbinders are and YES it is in stock, I just saw it in the cage WELL DONT LOOK IN THE BACK LOOK IN THE CAGE) the cashier said,  'Your minimum scrapbooking purchase entitles you to a free gift.'

Nice bag!

It looks kinda Tim Holtz.  If Michaels ate him.

But who am I to say anything bad about a free gift?  Some of my best friends are free.

-kory

And what did YOU do at work today?

I wrote my name, in cursive, with bent paperclips.  See for yourself:

Long day at work- time to go home and play with paper!  I feel like doing a real-life layout tonight.  No, not using real people and huge sheets of paper.  But actually, in real life, doing a layout.  Hmm. Maybe I'll just be lazy and do one on my iPad, with the ScrapPad app.  Hmmm. Yeah.  That sounds fun!  Maybe I'll do one and show y'all what the magic of ScrapPad is all about!

-kory

Demo Day at My Heart's Fancy

Forgive me for a moment, I'm going to whine and feel sorry for myself. 

I don't understand why I can't stay home, waist deep in kraft cardstock and happier than a crackhead who's just sold a pint of blood. 

Do y'all even have places like that?  Not DONATE blood, but the places you can SELL it?  There's a place here in OKC, where you can get about forty bucks for your first visit- and every morning, there's a line of OKC's finest crackheads, hobos and hookers, lining up with blood in their veins and dollar signs in their eyes.  I used to live near the place, because I'm cool like that and enjoy living in areas where it looks like DAWN OF THE DEAD outside your apartment.  I would drive past the place on the way to work and say, every morning, "If I ever need a blood transfusion, just kiss me goodbye.  I don't want it- I've seen where it came from."

It's almost St. Patrick's Day- maybe when I get home, I'll make a card tonight with a shamrock or a leprechaun on it- that sounds fun, doesn't it?  Ms. Aw-Yes just announced there's something downtown this weekend "WITH RIVERDANCERS!"  I won't be there- know why?

Cuz it's DEMO DAY at My Heart's Fancy!  I don't know what they're doing yet- but I'll be there.  So- if you're in Oklahoma, you should go too!  It'll be fun.   

Yeah, I know- nothing to show you, but wanted to let you know about what's up on Saturday.   Maybe next time, I'll tell you about the time that Monica Lewinski bitched me out. 

-kory

Attention! IS THERE A STAMPIN' UP REP IN DA HOUSE?!

This just might be a red-light emergency.  Is there a 9-1-1 number for this kind of situation?

I just found this houndstooth patterned embossing folder:

photo by Stampin' Up

As many of you know, I've got a strong and healthy love for anything reminiscent of menswear fabric, especially suiting.  For the longest time, I was buying any scrap or yard of suiting I could find at fabric stores, with the intent of making a quilt.  But then I got lazy and just used some of it to make a cover for my sewing machine.  And I've since lost it...

I must have this embossing folder.  As in right now. If you can deliver it to me by 5:00PM CST, I will give you a kiss on the cheek.  Deliver it by Noon, I'll give you a kiss anywhere you want.

-kory

p.s.  I am kidding, I will not perform any sexual activities in return for an embossing folder.  However, if you bring a Vagabond with the embossing folder, it's a whole different story.

Oh, NO!

It is FRIDAY! 

But before I get too excited and share my plans for the weekend, can I just talk a little trash for a minute or two?

Alright, but before I talk trash, I'm going to share my honored gossip sharing tradition with you- go get me a cup of coffee, pleaaaaase? 

Yes, ladies and gentlemen.  That's how I trick people into getting me a cup of coffee.  I say that I've got exciting, dramatic, guaranteed to have you balancing on the edge of your desk chair gossip, then I saw, "Okay, before I tell you the story, go get me a cup of coffee really quick!" 

It always works.

So what's going on? 

I have a coworker who, every time she calls someone, says 'Aw, YES!' when someone answers the phone.

EVERY SINGLE TIME.

It's driving me INSANE! 

I was discussing it with another coworker-  we've even tried to talk one another into even just asking, 'Lady, why do you say AW, YES! everytime you call someone?'

I don't even know why it annoys me.  It's like a water torture.  Just when the pain of one drop has subsided and you're starting to relax again:  "AW, YES!!!" 

STAB!  PAIN!  OWWWW!  WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, WOMAN?!  DOESN'T A PLAIN "HELLO" WORK FOR YOU?!

Alright, so:  It's PAY-DAY FRIDAY!

What are my plans for the weekend?  I'm getting up bright and early to go pick up a stamp that I've had my eye on since last Saturday.  And I'm gonna buy whatever else catches my eye.  Anything I want.  Cuz I'm grown. 

Next stop:  Byron's Liquor Warehouse.  Gotta get a fresh box of wine.

Then, I'm gonna clean up my worktable and make things all weekend. 

Who wants to join me?  Reservation lines are open NOW.  Don't delay! 

-kory

ScrapCrack

Do you know what ScrapCrack is?  Sure you do.  It's that product that you stumble upon in a store that catches your eye.  It signals to you, just like the little crack dealer on the corner of 1st and Main. 

The Amy Tangerine Thickers keep calling out, "Hey Mister you out lookin' for something?  Need-a-rock-Need-a-rock-need-a-rock?"  

So you buy the Amy Tangerine Thickers, called 'Goodness.' 

And you run home with the Amy Tangerine Thickers.  You wrap your leopard print Snuggie around your shoulders and turn on your desk lamp and you have a good time with those Amy Tangerine Thickers. 

But suddenly, you're running low.  You're out of vowels.  You start to itch.  You run to scrapbook.com and the 'Goodness' Thickers in white are 'DISCONTINUED!'  Next thing you know, you're wandering around in the Hobby Lobby parking lot, offering random Cricut cuts to strangers in return for some more Thickers! 

That's ScrapCrack.