Thursday, June 28, 2012

Kory Watches CRAFT WARS On TLC (and shares his reactions)

CRAFT WARS: Reactions:

On Christy Thomlinson's introduction:  Did they tell her or force her to do that pose during her introduction?  I hope it wasn't her choice.  The gangstah pose during your competition reality show introduction went out of style during the first season of Project Runway.  And how long ago was that?  Please stop.  Please don't do it again.

Judge: Stephen Brown-  can he not stop 'reacting' so forcefully?  For sure, though- quit it with the 'OMG I AM  ENTHUSIASTICALLY INTERESTED, GURL' faces.  It's so awkward that I cringe.

When the people entered to deliver all the sports equipment, what was up with the guy who jumped and threw the basketball into the Rubbermaid container, then ran out, giving a high-five to Miss Spelling?  Did they make him do that?  Was there an annoying TV director telling them to 'MAKE IT ENERGETIC! LIKE YOU'RE SO EXCITED TO CARRY THOSE CRATES OF SPORTS EQUIPMENT OUT THERE! AND HIGH FIVE MISS SPELLING! IT'LL MAKE IT LOOK LIKE WE'RE ALL FRIENDS AND HAVING A GREAT TIME!'   Well it didn't, it just looked stupid.

WHO wrote these transitions and crap?!

I did like the football corners on the unfinished bag- that looked good!

Really, it matters

WHY did Miss Spelling's kids have to come out?!  That was more forced than that Stephen Brown's reaction shots.

This show just made me sad.  Really, these were the best challenges they could come up with for the FIRST show?!  TLC, CALL ME!

Wow.  This "School Bus" is looking more like a shanty house.  I hope it looks better when it's done!
Well, it doesn't.

The 'Backpack Monsters' did make me laugh- and the 'School House' does look better.

So who's gonna win?

Really, I don't have kids.  I don't like kids.  They might've well have called this 'KIDS CRAFT Craft Wars.'

The next episode had better be better!  Or.... I won't watch.  There.  Take that, TLC.  I'll spend more time over at NatGeo with LOCKED UP ABROAD.   So...  watch it.

CHECK OUT the website for CRAFT WARS for a FITTY OFF (that's a whole 50% OFF!) coupon to MICHAELS!  Valid until Saturday, June 30!!!  Remember, one coupon per person per day!  So print a bunch, find a bunch of friends and GO!


  1. Kory, you have made my night! I was in the midst of mini melt down over a package that I have misplaced (amidst my scrappy hoard), and I read your post and literally laughed out load. If there were space in my room I would have rolled on the floor laughing!!! I was thinking so many of the same things like why that guy was so excited and why did those kids come out? And, I love Christy, but yeah that pose was so 1992! HEHEEE (insert evil laugh)! Oh you just don't know you made me hold back tears and laugh instead! Thanks, Kory! Happy Friday Eve!!!

  2. Thanks for the review. You saved me valuable time that I need in order to work on my plan to find more friends :-) BTW Love the birdhouse. HUGS EllenBee

  3. Ha! If you ONLY knew and if I could ONLY spill all the beans, but alas.... there is major legal paperwork involved and TLC would OWN my soon to be first born son if I said too much. I can't resist a few details, though. Those opening shots are, of course, forced. We were all mom-crafters and everyone was REALLY genuinely nice. Traci and I are totally Facebook friends now, even though my infamous unfinished bag was the reason she went home. So, yeah, they tell us to be serious and make a "bad ass" crafting face and no one knew what to do. Traci's makes me smile, because she makes this face (pretty much smiling) and they say.. OK now show us your mean bad ass face... and she is like, that WAS my bad ass face. I know, it isn't perfect, but it is crafting on TV and that's better than nothing!
    -Cheryl (AKA the creator of the red school house)

    1. Congratulations on your win!!!

      But really? You tell me there's all these beans you could spill, and then tell me that you CAN'T?!?! That's TORTURE!!!
      So, you should totally make me a football corner bag of my very own. That should make up for it. ;-)


  4. Oh LOL Kory you are awesome sauce, thanks for the review, not digging the show though, I imagined something different, I am back on the Food Network, but thanks for the coupon too!!! You rock and make me laugh!!!

    Love ya! Frank

  5. I'm with Frank, I thought it would be different. I'll give it one more episode - there was a preview with a bunch of pool toys, so that could be, um, interesting. I guess I thought the challenges would be more based in real life. Because no matter how hard I try, I'm always going to have trouble imagining myself in a position to have to make patio furniture out of those interesting pool toys. I think part of the fun of watching the show should be the ability to put yourself in the contestants' position.

  6. We don't have this program or Michaels, so I guess I am safe...thanks for the visit, comment and follow.

  7. what a great review....couldn't have said it better myself lol