Lyric Theatre's BYE BYE BIRDIE and...A Birdhouse.

Last night, went to Lyric Theatre's first night of the first show of their summer season, BYE BYE BIRDIE.  It was a a ton of fun, in the only way 1960's musical comedy can be-  dammit, what a good time!  And so much fun to see a professional production of a show that's been beaten to death in high schools across America.  If you're in OKC, buy a ticket!

That's me, with my date for the evening, Jessica.  She's not only the prettiest lady in town, she's also my favorite actor in town!

Another Jessica I know-  the one I call 'Baby' Jessica, called me up to ask a favor.  Yeahp- so that's my segue- one Jessica to the next-

Baby Jessica called me up, to ask a favor...

Along with her father, she was doing something for a charity.  They were having some kind of benefit, a party and auction.  They were supposed to decorate a plain wooden birdhouse.  At the benefit, all of the birdhouses, that different people had decorated, would be auctioned off.  They had no clue what to do- so she called to ask if she could bring it over- for me to decorate.

Of course I said, "Hell YEAH!"

Here's what I came up with:

As I dived into this project without any plan of attack, it took much longer than it should've... but it ended up working out in my favor, as there was a nice layer of paint on it before I came up with the plan of attack!  

First, the entire birdhouse was painted with a coat of off-white fitty cent pain from Wal-Mart.  After lots of staring at the thing, I smeared and rubbed some dark brown and light brown paint in random streaks. (More fitty cent paint from Wal-Mart.)  At this point, it looked like a huge mess.  More like a birdCRACKhouse.  So I attacked it with some Vintage Photo Distress Stain.  That didn't help in the attractive department, either.  I thought, maybe it needs some color.   That's where the bright blue came to be in the spaced between the 'boards,' and where the door was painted red.  In honor of my Grandma's favorite perfume?  I don't know.

As I was staring at my shelves of product.  I grabbed the little bottle of Mr. Holtz's Antique Bronze Crackle Paint.  I randomly slapped thick patches of the crackle paint around the house.  Now, this isn't a tiny birdhouse that fits in the palm of your hand.  It's pretty damn big.  And I was sure I'd use the entire jar of crackle paint.  Nope.  Didn't even make a dent in it- looked like it was still more than 1/2 full. (Optimistic, aren't I?)  Seriously!  I'd been "takin' it easy" on the crackle paints, because I was afraid of running out too soon!  Let this be a lesson- there's more than it looks, and it goes farther than you think!

And that's where I called it a night.  I left the birdhouse to dry for the night.

When I returned to my project the following day, the crackle paint had - well, you know- it did what the name implies.  IT CRACKLED!  Beautifully.  I rubbed some Walnut Stain Distress Ink into the cracks, just as his highness, Mr. Holtz, has taught us to do.

Here's where the embossing comes in-  I just felt that I want to melt some embossing power on the thang.  I used the 'Aged Copper' from Stampendous.  I love that way this stuff looks.  I dumped it around the edges of each window and blasted it with the heat gun.

To finish up, I smeared some Walnut Stain Distress STICKLES around the edges of the roof, door, and anywhere else that looked neglected.  I superglued the gear and game spinners to the very front top of the roof.  I superglued the Idea-ology 'Ornate Plate' over the hole- wait, what's that called?  The 'Bird-Door?'  I don't know.  I also superglued a game piece above the door, as a house number.

It still didn't look 'finished,' to me.  My basket of tapes caught my eye.  I grabbed a few rolls of tissue tape and stuck two small pieces to the front of the house- there on the windowsill and a piece right above the window- which mostly became transparent when I smeared it with ink and glue.  After attaching more strips of tissue tape to the 'ground' around the house, like some kind of walkway or 'yard,' I was DONE!  I delivered the house to Baby Jessica's Dad the following morning!  I've yet to hear what it sold for, in the auction at the benefit.  Part of me doesn't want to know.  I'm happy with my daydream that it went for thousands of dollars and the board of directors are speaking of me in hushed, reverent tones and announcing me as the one who singlehandedly supported their cause...