Call off the search teams, I'm still alive.

I'm sorry.  I haven't abandoned you.  And for those that can't stand me-  I'm sorry,  I haven't abandoned you.

It's 110 degrees here in Oklahoma City.  I may not survive the summer.  I may not survive the week.  The air conditioner at the house BROKE yesterday.  Yes, it is so hot that the HEAT BREAKS AIR CONDITIONERS.  I got home from work yesterday - and coming in from the oven we call 'OKC,' the 85 degree interior of the house felt nice and cool.  My roommate and his cousin were in the den, killing people via video game.  They were complaining about how hot it was, but I thought- well, get out of the room with a giant billboard size TV which emits its own death rays of heat and come into the living room where it's a few degrees cooler. 

The illusion of coolness did not last long.  I sat down at my worktable to finish up a Halloween project.  I love Halloween so much that I started a couple of Halloween projects LAST week.  I finished the first- and love it, but it'll be a bit before I reveal that one.  The second one, that I finished while sitting in an oven, yesterday-  well, it's too cute to save for any amount of time.  I'll be posting all about it, once I get pictures of the finished little guy.  (That was a hint.)

Well.  As I finished up my project through sheets of sweat pouring from my forehead and stinging my eyes, I began to feel weird.  Like a "light-headed, confused, heart pounding WHO AM I?!" kind of weird.  I managed to whisper 'HOTEL' before I passed out.  Yes.  In times of emergencies, I retreat to a hotel- not to an....I don't know- EMERGENCY ROOM?  So, I spent the rest of the evening recovering and rehydrating in the cool 65 degree privacy of a quiet hotel room. 

The good times don't end with a near death experience in an oven, I also found out that my drivers license is expired.  The guy at the hotel's front desk looked at me like a lunatic when it became clear that I had no idea whatsoever that it expired two months ago.  I'm sorry, but isn't it the job of liquor store cashiers and nightclub bouncers to warn me of impending identification expirations?

Oh!  Before I go and while I'm here, I'd like to officially declare the death of the 'vintage bingo card' and share with you some exciting new stencils/templates from those classy hardworkers over at The Crafter's Workshop. 

Now if those (or my awkward formatting) don't inspire you to greatness, I don't know what will do the job.  I'll be back soon with more excitement!  And by soon, I mean soon.  Not a week.  Promise.  Swear on a stack of hotel bibles.  They're all available over at the SUPAH-STORE at Scrapbook.com.  Pick up a few or pick up them all, and while you're at it, pick up a few for me.  I'll pay you back with cocktails and jokes.  Don't worry, I'm good for it.

-kory

Prima Craftsman, or: The week of new product which excites me in the pants.

So, yeah, I have been meaning to update for two days, with some pics from the night at Paper Crown's Mix 'N Mingle.  I've also had some other idea for a post that I cannot recall at the moment.  Then, there's the idea I had, last night, while under the influence of five or six a few vodka and tonics, which at the moment I must've sworn was the best idea ever to occur - yeah, for real- I was so excited by the idea that I scrawled the entire draft of the post on my steno-pad.  I don't know if it was the booze or the moment, but I wrote the entire post in authentic old-school schoolteacher handwriting.  Full on Palmer Method.  Not joking.

I've spent the evening watching the opening ceremonies from the Olympics.  Wow.  I mean 'wow' in the 'what the hell is up with the giant baby that looks like it's head has been cut open?!' way, not 'wow' in the 'oh what a beautiful show,' way.  And I hate to sound heartless, but-  I hate the sound of children singing.  And the opening ceremonies were mostly that.  As if that's a big surprise.  Just as I was shouting, 'Is there anything more cliche?!,' I was reminded- yes, there is something more cliche than children singing at a 'big, momental event.'  What is it?  You know what it is- it's having the children sing WHILE DOING SIGN LANGUAGE.  Not that I have something against sign language or even ANY language- but really?  Someone was paid to come up with a big, hopefully awe-inspiring, production and the best they could do at any given moment is to fall back on one of the most over-used 'moments' from a grammar school Christmas show?!

Well, my commentary was nonstop.  I should've rented a space and sold tickets for people to watch the ceremonies as I commented over a microphone.  If you think I'm funny during CRAFT WARS: LIVE, then you should've been at my house for my deconstruction of the opening ceremonies.

But, the night got better.  I saw something that excited me.

What was it?

It's Prima's new CRAFTSMAN collection.  Have you checked it out, yet?  You should.  Here's my highlights:

Check out this mask:

You could use it as it, or just use the gear parts, or just use the circle parts.  At the moment, masks are some of my favoritest thangs.  Especially ones that have a multi-use possibility! 

Next:  LETTER STICKERS!!!

I should've warned you before the pic- but I didn't.  I'll tell you now.  IGNORE the stickers in the upper right corner.  Really, Prima?  You couldn't do a masculine theme without throwing 'DUDE' in there, could you?  To any companies out there who might deign to read any of my harsh yet (truly) constructive criticism:  you might think you're aiming at pleasing the mainstream with the cliché- but you must remember, the kind of people who might embrace this are not your good customer.  Be true to the theme and always, always, keep it classy.  But the rest of the stickers more than make up for the very very slight affront to taste, dude.   Especially the set in the bottom right.  Great color, great look - and as far as I can tell, not similar to anything already out there!  I love those!  I love the upper right section, but they're a bit too similar to a set from Mr. Holtz's sticker pads to be impressive.  But I still like them.

Okay, NEXT! 

Beautiful paper!  Perfect!  The blueprint theme seems to be a trend, right now.  And I love it so much.

Time for some STAMPS!!!

Excuse me, I must have a moment.

Thank you.  The lightbulb?!  The gears.  The compass.  Even the BOOM.  So much fun.  And two bucks?!  Last I checked, the biggest thrill was on a corner for twenty bucks.  You have it beat, Prima!

More sexy paper.  Sexxxy.  Would look great as is and even better if cut up to use each segment as part of a layered embellishment or background for a card or... just laying in a stack of your sexxxy papers, where it's easily accessible for viewing and admiring purposes.

PINS!

What is up with my love of pins?  I don't think I've used any, but I have a few.  And now, I will have more.  The gear and the lightbulb are the best.  The balloon is close, tho, in third.  The pointing finger is nearing 'children singing while signing' saturation point, and I don't know what the hell the little monster is...  I want these.  So much that I'm a little bit angry that scrapbook.com isn't a store down the street, open 24 hours and waiting for me to come in and snatch them up in my hot hand.

Everything is currently available in the SUPERSTORE at Scrapbook.com. 

Alriiiiight then?  I'm off.  Gonna enjoy this LOCKUP marathon on MSNBC.  Opening Ceremonies?  Olympics, PLEASE-  this is quality television.  Maybe I'll get lucky and it'll be the episode with the wild and crazy lesbian loan sharks.  Just like Mr. John Waters, I've always had a soft spot for the female juvenile delinquent.

-kory

The Goings On- New product, jokes and more!

Whoaaaa.  There's some hot and sexy new product appearing in the 'just arrived' section at Scrapbook.com's 'superstore' and also in the 'new arrivals' section over at the Two Peas shop.  I spent my entire lunch hour- and then some- doing a little 'monitor shopping.'  What friend would I be, if I didn't share my favorites with you?! 

So here it is:  Kory K's Hot New Product Round-Up of July 27, 2012:

The first few things I have to show you are from Echo Park's newest collection, Everyday Eclectic.  It's a modern, muted yet still bright, fun set of papers- including a great page of cardstock sticker alphas.  (I grow increasingly addicted to letter stickers with each sheet I buy...) 



Everyone knows my devotion to plain old kraft- but check out the herringbone wood pattern on its opposite side.  Reminds me of the floor in an apartment I had some good times in...



The pink side goes a little too far into the 'super-girly' look that's predominate in way too many new releases- but the chevron wood pattern makes up for it and gives me the strength to carry on!



Their journalling cards are even cool.  I love the 'pay-per-view' telescope in the bottom right.  Fun!



Here's the letter alphas!  Wood and white!  Blue!  And trusty black!  I'll need two sheets of these hot little numbers (alphas?)!

Next, I've got some highlights from We R Memory Keepers Inc's new Hall Pass Collection.


That's their 12x12 piece of vintage green sexiness, 'Pop Quiz.'  Both sides are such eye-catchers, I'll need three sheets.  Two to use and one to hoard and stare at every so often.  Dammit, I love good paper designs.



That, there, is 'Classroom.'   Also from We R's Hall Pass Collection.  Journalling cards are, like alpha stickers and washi, two of my at-the-moment favorite thing to have-  I like the entire design on a small scale action/can use for almost anything aspect of journalling cards.  The 'Hello...my name is...' card makes the entire 12x12 sheet worth a dollar all on its own.



More woodgrain action!  This time from those sexily clever peoples over at Studio Calico.  Want. Now.

The last of the eyecatchers are these rolls of washi tape from Freckled Fawn.  I've not heard of Freckled Fawn- up until about a week ago, and now I seem to see them popping up everywhere.



That's 'Foreign Newspaper.'  Part of me wishes it were more monotone.  Part of me likes the colors and says, 'shut up and love it as it is...'



I couldn't help but put in some more hardcore woodgrain love.  I love wood.  I love woodgrain.  Even when it's as cartoonily done as it is here- I love it.

Hop on over to scrapbook.com and order some new nice lookin' supplies- you won't find these at Michaels!  However, you will find this:

Just kidding, Michaels, you know I love you- and I know it's hard to stay on top of the times when you have to buy for a hundreds of stores.  But really?  Discount DVDs?

So that's all, for now!  I'll be back later to fill you in on all the fun at last night's 'Mix N Mingle' at Paper Crown!  And coming up even later/after/soon, a HALLOWEEN PRESHOW!

Don't forget tonight's episode of "CRAFT WARS: LIVE with KORY AND DARLA!"  Showtime is 10/9Central, live during TLC's airing of CRAFT WARS, in the forum at Scrapbook.com!

******************
UPDATE:  RED ALERT!  RED ALERT!  Thanks to a good eye for detail and a quick response, Okienurse has alerted me that CRAFT WARS is on at 8/7pmCENTRAL tonight, not its usual 9CST, due to some kind of scheduling conflict.  SO- This makes CRAFT WARS: LIVE with Kory and Darla on at 8pmCST, too!  Thank you, Okienurse!!!

see ya there!

-kory

Monday: Obsessed

Happy Monday!

And I mean that-  I want you to have a Monday as happy as a Monday can be...

Am I being negative?  No.  I just don't want to be secured to a desk until 5pm.  I want to be at home, working happily away on a little project.  A project that I started yesterday morning.  It's sitting halfway completed, now, crying for my return.  What is it?  I won't tell you, yet.  But I will give you a hint.  It began with these nice 12x12 sheets of chipboard.

That tells you lots, doesn't it?  I'll give you another hint-  it's a project for my favorite holiday.  Halloween.

I'm really proud of myself, thinking ahead and all...  I've got projects lined up for your amusement and entertainment needs.  All the way through Valentine's Day! 

I'm here today with some inspirationical links.  Stuff I'm obsessing over or stuff that has inspired me enough to lay in the middle of the floor thinking about what I'd do if I would only sit up.  If you follow all the people I've told you about in the past, you'll have seen it already- so in that case, you should skip to the bottom and let me know what you're obsessing over!

First up:  Sherry C's blog, My Favorite Things.  I'm loving her blog so much she should change her blog's title to KORY'S FAVORITE SITE.  She's a genius.  Want proof?  Lookit how she cut a square out of the Core'dinations and flipped it around so you can see both sides of this great paper.  I love this idea.  And I love that set of Core'dinations.  I have lots of it, mostly scavenged from Basket Market.  Also, don't miss the later post where she draws/embosses the Core'dinations by HAND.

Now, head back over to Frank's Haus of W.  Not only can you admire the old-fashioned CAMERA that he built, but the amazing Vintage Envelope Mini-Album he designed to go inside the camera.  And my dearest Franklin was also too kind to give away a PDF of the envelope template that he made!  I love envelopes more than I love vodka and tonic- so I spent some time playing with the template.  I printed it out in three sizes- regular size, medium size and a baby size!  Here they are, lined up in my mini-Smash book:

Cool, huh?

I would much rather make a card- but there are still times when a moment arrives and you just need to grab a store-bought card.  I have hundred of cards.  I always pull a selection of two or three cards from each package, to keep in my file cabinet at the office- so that I always have both thank you cards and blank cards near my right hand at all times.  How often do I need a thank you card?  Just about as often as I need a blank card to write happy birthday to someone down the hall, that's how often.  In other words: ALL THE TIME.

And I saw these colorful cards at Target:

I like the 'Tired of Texting' card.  And the 'Freakin Thanks' card.  Fun, huh? 

Okay, I've got work to do-  wish me luck!

-kory


 

Studio Calico - CHA 2012

I'm not exaggerating one bit when I tell you this:

Looking at Studio Calico's blog gives me the same feeling I got the very first time I saw a dirty magazine. 

It's a thrill.  And it also scares me how much I like what I see.

Out of every CHA sneak preview that's popped up - Studio Calico is the one that made me the most exciting in the pants.

Look at these journal cards: 

From Studio Calico

I'll allow you a few moments to pull yourselves together before I show you the next piece of Studio Calico CHA hotness.

Okay, all better now?  Here ya go:

From Studio Calico

I can already hear what you're saying- you've got the SMASH date-stamp.  You've got the Dear Lizzy date-stamp.  And hell, you've got a drawer full of date-stamps that followed you home from various office jobs.  But Studio Calico's date-stamp kills them all with a combination of hip design and smart phrases.  INSTAGRAMMED!   EPIC!  A ROW OF HEXAGONS?! 

Go over to Studio Calico's porno blog right now and look at everything else.  I'll be taking a cold shower.

-kory

Instagram? Instagram!

Thanks to Sherry at My Favorite Things, there is now heaps more INSTA in my INSTAGRAM!  I'm feelin' like an INSTAGENIUS! 

Y'all know how much I hate to order things -  you pays your monies, and then you WAIT.  I don't like to pay and wait.  I like to pay and HAVE.  This means that even with the existence of such great Instagram printing apps, like  PostalPix, I've never ordered any prints.

Because of my technological limitations, I've also never been able to properly format photos following other's 'easy' directions for printing out a sheet of Instagram beauty.  You know what I'm talking about- stuff like: "First, you just open up a copy of Photoshop version 20 and have these three updates and extras installed, then you create a new document in this pixel size, download and load this template then..."  Photoshop?  I was barely able to operate THE PRINT SHOP on my first DOS computer- what the hell are you trying to explain to me?  I just want my Instagrams! 

Imagine my orgasmic surprise this morning, when I come across Sherry's blog- and today's post with the heading, "Easy Instagram Printing."  Easy is one of my favorite four letter words.  Click on that link, read, enjoy, discover.  Grow.

And you know what?  Within an hour later, it was time for my lunch break.  I was on my way to Walgreen's to pick up four sheets of beautifully printed squares of joy. 

I did several different options- a sheet of six little squares, a sheet of two big squares and four littler squares- as they say, the possibilities are ENDLESS.  Again, visit Sherry, follow her instrutcions, thank her profusely- and, as Brini Maxwell would say,  'Now, why didn't you think of that?!'

That's not even all- can you believe it?   The day- MONDAY- even gets better?  Why, yes!  It does!

You know what Mr. Walgreen's is doing for all of us photo-addicted peoples?  No, not introducing us to a new hobby!  They're giving us a discount!  Not a stingy barely worth it 25% off entire sale- ahem, Michaels, coughcough- they're giving 40% OFF ENTIRE PHOTO PRINTING AND ENLARGEMENTS until the 31st.  Of July.  Now if that doesn't give you the will to stop reading blogs and earn your paycheck, I don't know what will-  All you gotta do is:  "Enter coupon code PRINTIT40 at checkout thru Tuesday, July 31st.*"  You'll have to visit Mr. Walgreens and his website to see whatever that asterisk is referring to- all I know is that the coupon is good for photos and and enlargements until the 31st of July.  I used it with great success to get my Instagrams today and I'm in love...

Again, Sherry- I thank you.  The world will thank you.  Yes, it's that important.

*my version of what the asterisk will be referring to, if *I* wrote the fine print: 

"Thank you, customer, for your interest in our very kind 40% discount on all prints and enlargements.  I'm sure that you'll enjoy the discount.  I'm also sure you'll be so pleased with such a generous coupon code that when you arrive to pick up your photos, you'll stay off of your cell phone while in line to pay and even treat the cashier and/or photo desk employee with nothing but courtesy and kindness.  We also trust that you'll not hold up any lines while you try to argue that the coupon for 40% off prints and enlargements should also apply to custom mousepads, coffee cups, calendars or even any product off the shelves at the store than you managed to grab with the hand not holding your cell phone while pushing your way to the photo desk.  Please, wash your hands.

New Layout Time!

I am proud of myself.  It's Sunday.  Late Sunday afternoon.  Instead of my usual daydreaming about doing something productive- even semi-productive, I got up and DID something.  What did I do?  Laundry?  Pay bills?  Nope.  I made a layout!

I'm still slowly working through a giant stack of photos I printed out.  Today,  I happened upon this picture that I took in Central Park on my last trip to NYC.  I think this picture is damned beautiful and if any cheap '10 Postcards For a Dollar' company had any sense, they'd snatch this one up!

I started with a nice piece of paper from BasicGrey's 'WHAT'S UP' collection- the 'b-side' of the 'light as a feather' paper.  I misted it with my brand new Dylusions Ink Spray (Vibrant Turquoise).  I just discovered (as in, first used) this ink spray YESTERDAY in the Dina Wakley class.  And I'm addicted to it-  the colors are so freakin sexxxy and they spray so well-  just go buy some.  They're five bucks a bottle.  If that isn't a freakin' bargain I don't know what is and there's just no pleasing you people.

Here, you can see detail of the Dymo label, tapes, and the cool stamped (from American Crafts) arrow-y chevron-y kinda design.  I love this stamp.  It's the single most fulfilling thing in my life.

Hope you all had a great weekend!  I'm off to watch some True Blood and Newsroom and then get my handsome sleep.  I need it.

-kory